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There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar.
Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, "ATTENTION ALL" and fart loudly.
The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk
and says, "Excuse me, you just farted in front of my wife."
The drunk replies, " I'm sorry, I didn't know it was her turn."
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.
She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately.
When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face
close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard,
which is full and bushy.
"Are you the landlord?" she asks, softly stroking his face with
both hands.
"Actually, no" he replies.
"Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks,
running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the barman, clearly aroused.
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues huskily,
popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them
gently. "Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."
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